It's Never Too Late

“Can you please give the keys to my maid? She is late today and I can’t wait any longer for her,”said Anita. Anita, my pretty neighbor lived alone in the 250 sq.ft studio apartment next door. She worked as Operations Manager in a logistics company and drew a moderate salary.  Every day would be a mad rush for her. Helping her now and then became a way of life for me. I didn't do this without a reason.I admired Anita. 

She was in her late thirties, same as me, but had a personality of a rock star. There were few similarities between us yet we got along very well, that is whenever we happened to spend time with each other. When she came to stay in our building, I assumed her to be a spinster. Eventually the curiosity in me forced me to bluntly ask her why a pretty woman like her wasn’t married. She laughed out loud. She said, “Sorry to disappoint you dear, but I was very much married. The thing is I am divorced.”On further probing, I learnt that she had a 10 year old son. My son was just 12 and I felt like a hag! 

Here, Anita was so full of spirit in spite of the  emotional upheaval in her life. Apparently, Anita had decided to move away from a cheating husband but decided not to drag her son along with her. She killed her maternal instinct so that her son could continue the lifestyle he lived. Anita was a house wife till the day she caught her husband red-handed with an ex-colleague. The husband could not wriggle his way out of her allegations but tried to convince her that it was the first time he succumbed to his colleague's charm.Which was quite untrue as she found the colleague's 7 year old son resemble her 10 year Rahul in more than a hundred ways. She didn't need a DNA test to prove the child's paternity. After 12 years of married life this blow blew over Anita like a wild hurricane. Delicate that she was, she didn't break, she just waited for the hurricane to stop and then held her head high, very high. 

Anita readily shared her story with me because she wanted me and other women to be prepared for any eventuality in life, including the loss of support of our loved ones. She was not into women’s liberation theory but firmly believed that every woman should have financial independence. She would have easily forgiven her husband if it was a one night stand. But he has been carrying on this relationship forever. 

She had led a life of deceit all along. She had led a life, the way her husband wanted to. He wanted her to be a timid housewife and so she became one. In spite of having a Master’s degree she never ventured out to work, even after her son no longer needed her attention. Now she knew why he wanted her to be wholly dependent on him. No matter what he did, he never expected her to leave because she had nothing on her own. He was wrong. She left empty handed from their marital home. She stayed in her parent’s house for a year. Meanwhile she found her bearings. Then on she was on her own. 

Anita underwent deep depression after the affair was revealed. It was only her son’s love that had brought her back to life. She was and is very close to her son and they keep visiting each other. I tried to assure Anita that she may not have to slog forever as her son would one day take care of her. She said, “ Always be financially independent. As long as your health permits, do not depend on anybody. I am sure my son will take care of me. But I want to take care of myself as long as I can.”

What ideals! What thoughts! Anita’s story inspires me. I often repeat her story to countless other housewives. Some laugh off my concerns while others take me seriously. Amongst us, we have all decided to try and do some activity that may not bring us immediate returns but will hone our inherent skills. 

So Vasanthi, who is good at cooking has started weekend classes for college goers and surprisingly, more than girls boys have flocked to her classes. Brinda who holds a Masters in Psychology has requested a reputed Psychologist in the nearby area to allow her and apprentice for 2 hours every morning.  She plans to counsel students in her daughter’s school. One Anita has changed the lives of so many others. I am extremely moved by her difficulties.  Her survival and her zeal for life inspires me. 

And what change did it bring in me? Well I started work as a Writer around 5 years back. Today, I am happy earning a decent income. I have a life of my own. Everyone becomes a housewife by default but to juggle a career and family life is what I have learnt in the past few years. I am grateful to Anita for her presence in my life.She has proved to me that it's never too late.